“EMOTIONAL GLIMPSES”
David Wappel is an LA-based screenwriter who wrote Long Gone By (HBO) , created the Scriptless Intensive for screenwriters @ http://bit.ly/noscriptneeded. He’s a self-proclaimed Tolkien fan and “Shakespeare man”.
And, he’s quite active on Twitter. Recently he began a series of threads on Twitter designed to help shed some light on common mistakes made by new screenwriters.
You can read the entire thread on Twitter right here:
But, to keep this valuable information easily accessible, I’m going to record it all here as well.
In his words:
I've been screenwriting for 8 years now, a professional reader for the past 5, and a produced screenwriter for the past 3. Over the next few days, I plan on doing threads on what I see as the biggest missteps in scripts from emerging (and sometimes pro) writers. Here's #1:
Forgetting To Include Emotional Glimpses Into Characters
What do I mean by this?
I don’t know if you’ll find this term in any screenwriting book, but when I say “emotional glimpses” I mean the moments from characters that only the camera/audience sees. These are private moments. Sometimes literally private but not always. Just moments the camera catches.
Think about the ways in which you are different when you are with different people. Sometimes you’re aware of it, like when you’re on your most professional behaviour in a big meeting at work.
But other times, you’re not quite aware of it, like when you’re with close friends and you feel more relaxed. Think about how you act when you’re on a first date with someone you really like.
Regardless of whether you’re conscious of it or not, in those times you're projecting a version of yourself, but unbeknownst to you and sometimes others, there are times in which that projection fails. We want to see those moments. ( I call these "peeks behind the mask")
But now think about who you are when you’re home alone. When nobody is watching. But unlike our real lives, your characters are never truly alone. The audience is there and they get to see who your character is when “nobody” is watching.
So whether it's a "peek behind the mask" in a public moment, or a private moment with the audience, we've got to see who your character is and how they feel when "nobody can see" These moments are HUGE opportunities to showcase character. Here's a quick & dirty example:
Imagine a character in a steely-eyed staredown with the schoolyard bully. Ice in their veins, unblinking, and the bully backs off. All the other schoolkids cheer as our hero stands up for the little guy. A few moments later we see this same character, alone, in the school bathroom throwing up.
We can see the nerves and the anxiety that they were seemingly keeping under wraps. Why is this valuable?
We get a deeper sense of the character, and retroactively it makes their previous act perhaps a little more courageous. Might not be the best little story, but hopefully a decent example. That was a public moment, then a private moment. How could we peek behind the mask?
Back in the schoolyard, everyone is cheering on our hero. They all don't see, but we do: The hero's hand is trembling ever so slightly. A touch of sweat, a barely noticeable quiver.
Visually we can see that despite what every other character in this scene perceives, our character is actually scared.
These emotional glimpses provide great insight into a character's inner workings, so when I read a script that doesn't have many of these, or any at all, it's difficult to understand what characters actually think or feel.
Some writers counteract this with "on the nose" dialogue. Others write it out plainly for the reader, but non-visually, like in prose. And others don't counteract it at all, and those are the scripts in which I feel the most distant from the characters.
As you read screenplays from the pros, check how often they give us these glimpses, and the ways in which they do it. It’s a great exercise to go through and highlight them as you read a script from a writer you admire.
As you're writing your scripts, be careful not to fall into the trap of thinking the audience sees and knows what's in your head. If it's not on the page, we won't see it, and we won't know it.
As always, I'm not advocating for a strict interpretation of these guidelines, but rather encouraging emerging and aspiring writers to be aware of them and thinking about whether they're relevant and/or useful in any given moment.
Again, the author of that thread is David Wappel. He often shares really excellent advice and I recommend you follow his TWITTER ACCOUNT here.
